So, I want to be a Hippie Goddess, earth connected and beautiful,
LOVE oozing from every pore...
I Got the look (reference Chapter One)
Now what?
It is so very easy to be grounded and serene when I am in nature; so much less easy moving about my typical day in suburbia.
What is it about being around strangers- human strangers- that trips our circuits and turn us into deaf and blind auto-trons? (Scotty, get those shields UP now!)
For me, it is insecurity that I don't measure up. Not cool enough. Not thin enough. Not pretty enough. Not smart enough. Not successful. Not talented. Not the so many words that were uttered to me by insensitive family, friends, strangers or more than likely, just invented on my own.
Isn't it so uselessly cruel that everyone is wandering around in such doubt about their worth? The less self aware take verbal stabs at others to bolster their perceived inadequacy while the rest of us remain unemotional and guarded. We are all in such turmoil. Don't make eye contact...
And Yes! even him...that dude over there with the Armani suit and Rolex. Maybe him even more as he is bolstering himself with his fancy possessions...
Wait, I do that too...Let's not forget Chapter One...feather earrings...
So, Yes, I am in turmoil too...
In the line at Starbucks...
In the food store...
At the small deli I love...
While I type this...
4 comments:
My shield has also been up, ready to defend. I can identify!
Well written.
So true what you say about many people walking around, clinging to what they perceive to be their self worth. The evil side of ego. We crave to be something we think we want to be or something we think society wants us to be. It' s only because we are so good at judging ourselves and others around us rather than just be. Just be in the moment. Just be loving to ourselves. The other stuff really does not matter. One day, the body will cease. Let's enjoy it without the internal conflict while we can.
Thanks for the post and for the reminder!
It's the "When, Then" game. When I am thin, then I can feel joy. When I have a bigger house, then I'll be alright. When People praise my work, then I'll be an artist, or a poet.
It all seems to make sense, except, what about Now? It means I can never be content, never feel deep joy or peace, must always strive for a When that never comes.
Thank you Pete, Kathleen and Sig. I appreciate your thoughts.
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