Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Virtue Steps Out: The Full Sap Moon

"Wait.  Read that again, please", I interject.  My thoughts float upward and flit about his words, like smoke, making visceral, barely visible patterns. Something is forming in my mind and the recognition of words that ring all too true echo in my ears. 

He is reading from The Te of Piglet by Benjamin Hoff.  We have started this book many times, but have never managed to finish it.  The last starting was about two years ago; hence, the need to begin completely again.  He reads again, "Te is pronounced DEH, In classical Chinese, it is written two ways. The first joins the character for "upright" to the character for "heart". Its meaning is virtue. The second way adds the character for "left foot" which in Chinese signifies "stepping out". Its meaning is virtue in action."

I ask him to stop for a moment; there is a whiff of an idea and I need to let it take shape.  The words feel familiar but there is a very good chance that he read me this section just two years before.  Yet, the words have my attention and therefore, a lesson may root.

I try to articulate my thoughts. "Pete, I am thinking that perhaps I have a kind of 'virtue' and I just don't seem to be able or willing to "step out".  Remember how the Shaman called me the 'water buffalo with no village'? He was referring to my not knowing how to use my talents.  He said I wait in the rice paddies for someone to know how to harness my skills."  My husband acknowledges the conversation and adds that talent is not necessarily virtue.  True enough, but the concept is a seed and I can feel my mind nestle it gently into my craw.  

I can allow it to grow, leaf, and maybe bear fruit or I can choke it off before it ever breaks shell; such is the way with our ideas.  We give some space and sway while others are either too silly, or worse, too terrifying to be allowed to root.  Yet, under this moon, the Sap Moon, this notion of 'action' must be given space...even though it terrifies me.

The Sap Moon is a harbinger of Spring; its name refers to the thawing of trees.  As spring melts the frozen innards of the trees, so has my heart been melted these past few years by deliberate change. The time is right for me to "step out".  I feel spring in my step.  I feel spring in my heart.  If 'action' has a chance- it is under this moon of renewal.

And that is the promise of this moon for each of us.  Life begins...again. New. Rested. Fertile. Whether we can harness the moment for positive change depends on our mindset and our heart.  

Under this Sap Moon, I pledge to at least tend the garden.




Friday, March 22, 2013

Of Crows and Fools

This morning, I was leaving my driveway when I spotted a crow on my neighbor's unsightly stump of a Sandy victimized tree. I stopped my backwards progress, moved the car from reverse to park and watched for a moment.  I might mention here that crows fascinate me.  They are a tad blander and smaller than their more mysterious raven kin, but they do exhibit personality.  They are often overlooked because of their uniform dark coloring; but if you look close enough, their simple black feathers show iridescence. They are sizable, but not menacingly so...just a bit like a black football on spindly legs.  They also love to talk; squawking among themselves and in packs.

The crow in question was busying itself by pulling on the root of the overturned, sawed down tree. The crow would pull, and pull some more.  The root in question offered no indication that it wasn't firmly attached, yet this crow was determined.  Maybe that is why I watched so long...a fascination with its foolhardiness. To my eyes, there appeared to be plenty of perfect sized twigs lying just under this stump.  Why was this crow wasting so much energy on this one particular root?  Couldn't it see its own blunder?

And this is where I laughed outright...at the crow and at myself.  I smiled and bit my lip as I wondered how many activities I pursue that look equally inane from the outside.  How often have I tugged at roots when simpler, just as satisfactory solutions lay littered around my feet?

And I too love to talk; squawking alone and in packs.

In theory, my brain is larger and therefore more developed than my crow friend.
In theory...

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Circles, Circles

On Society 6, a grass root community event is occurring called the 'Circle Project' (http://society6.com/AnaiGreog/Circle-Time#comments)

I had wanted to finish this small drawing for a while and this event forced my hand back to it.  It is kind of a representation of the "Circle Dream" posted here (see tab above if you have any interest).

This specific artwork is not for sale. Feel free to copy and use as desired.  I know the dream was a gift to me and I understand it would be wrong to profit from these ideas.



Monday, March 11, 2013

Anubis in the Closet: New Sap Moon

So many analogies to the new moon this morning, but Anubis sunk his teeth into my hand as I typed and I had to pick him, surely if only to have his hold on me slip as he looked over my shoulder for typos as I typed.

I've been cleaning closets of late...metaphorically and literally. My daughter left a mess on her way out to adulthood and I am covetous of her bedroom...specifically, her closet.  Must be nice to own closets in two separate homes!  Must be awesome to have storage space for clothes that haven't  been worn, much less looked at in half a decade. I opened her auxiliary closet (the one in my home) a few months ago and quickly closed it.  

Clothes were piled on the floor, two feet high. Clothes were still on hangers wall to wall, floor to ceiling. Clothes.  Clothes that I quickly realized I had purchased with my husband's and my income. Clothes that she must have, fit her perfectly, she would perish if she did not get. 

Storage space is not a luxury in this home of mine and I have been secretly planning my closet coup. I want it. I want it all.  Every last cubic inch! The battle plan was drawn and my weapons chosen. I had planned and over planned; yet, in the end, the clothes did not offer any kind of defense. Oh, one pair of pants attempted a noble entanglement in a prom dress; but I subdued the hero and soon had imprisoned the entire lot in several large sturdy bags for the trip to the Island of Unwanted Clothes.

The closet isn't quite empty yet; there are remnants of her childhood lurking in a few boxes and one of her prom dresses argued quite eloquently for clemency.  But I'm not done. Not by a long shot. I want that closet empty...if only for a day.  All I had wanted at inception was to get some space to hang my version of my unwanted clothes.  I happily dreamed that I could be the queen with two closets! How decadent! 

Yet now, a new idea has emerged. I want the 128 cubic feet empty just so I can sit in it, be surrounded by nothing, close the door and be alone in the dark.

And here, Anubis nods his head in approval as he finally sees the tie in.  I want a tiny tomb for just a day. Just as a dress rehearsal...just to see what it feels like...just to know what waits for us in the dark.

I know it is an activity of a foolish, perhaps slightly bent, bored artist, but when the shoe or closet fits, you got to take action.  I can even visualize the hieroglyphics I might draw in crayon; a curious puzzle for the next closet cleaner to find.  

The New Moon is a lot like an empty closet.  You can shove lots of crap into the moment, or you can choose to sit quietly in the dark, listening to your heart and wonder...


Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Meditation for the Mindless


View the Divine from the Inside Out!  Be the Person Your Soul Thinks You Are!  Yoga for the Clumsy Warrior!  Spiritual Cleansing for the WiFi Capable!  Transcendental Debt Negotiation! 

Yes! Coming soon to a well appointed, organic campus near you is course work to salvage your pathetic soul, unlock your non-creativity, and assure you that you are special, unique, wonderful, and perfectly imperfect.

I drooled over the pages of the latest catalog to arrive at my domicile. I wondered if Diorama Building for the Inner Child would heal my aged internal scars.  The next page delivered more delightful choices, Shamanism for the Shamanic Disenfranchised, Inner Goddess: Outer Power Suit, Drawing from Your Unabashed Clitoris.  Oh!  So many choices. So delightfully packaged to make me the best me EVER!

And although I jest above, I was truly hypnotized by the offerings and generally wished I had the grand or so that a workshop and accommodations would cost.  I would take Shamanic Divination for Business Acumen or maybe Paint Your Inner Critic Away.  These seemed liked pretty good choices as I am less than astute in my business decisions and my inner critic is a real busy body.

But it isn't just the money that keeps me from following like a lemming to my glorious end. The money is just an excuse to not join in this form of new age self congratulation.  The truth is that I know what needs fixing and I have the community to assist ...for no money down, no long lecture.  I just need to reach out, be ready to hear the truth, be prepared to actually mobilize. 

The class that would really be of use is: Manifesting Action for Dummies...aka "hey lazy ass, pick up the phone and volunteer already".  I know that my hand works. The arm seems pretty accepting of direction as well.  My mouth functions just fine, ask my husband.  Living in hurricane Sandy ravaged New Jersey, need is everywhere.  So what stops me?  What keeps me here? 

I flip another page, sip my coffee and wonder...