"Wait. Read that again, please", I interject. My thoughts float upward and flit about his words, like smoke, making visceral, barely visible patterns. Something is forming in my mind and the recognition of words that ring all too true echo in my ears.
He is reading from The Te of Piglet by Benjamin Hoff. We have started this book many times, but have never managed to finish it. The last starting was about two years ago; hence, the need to begin completely again. He reads again, "Te is pronounced DEH, In classical Chinese, it is written two ways. The first joins the character for "upright" to the character for "heart". Its meaning is virtue. The second way adds the character for "left foot" which in Chinese signifies "stepping out". Its meaning is virtue in action."
I ask him to stop for a moment; there is a whiff of an idea and I need to let it take shape. The words feel familiar but there is a very good chance that he read me this section just two years before. Yet, the words have my attention and therefore, a lesson may root.
I try to articulate my thoughts. "Pete, I am thinking that perhaps I have a kind of 'virtue' and I just don't seem to be able or willing to "step out". Remember how the Shaman called me the 'water buffalo with no village'? He was referring to my not knowing how to use my talents. He said I wait in the rice paddies for someone to know how to harness my skills." My husband acknowledges the conversation and adds that talent is not necessarily virtue. True enough, but the concept is a seed and I can feel my mind nestle it gently into my craw.
I can allow it to grow, leaf, and maybe bear fruit or I can choke it off before it ever breaks shell; such is the way with our ideas. We give some space and sway while others are either too silly, or worse, too terrifying to be allowed to root. Yet, under this moon, the Sap Moon, this notion of 'action' must be given space...even though it terrifies me.
The Sap Moon is a harbinger of Spring; its name refers to the thawing of trees. As spring melts the frozen innards of the trees, so has my heart been melted these past few years by deliberate change. The time is right for me to "step out". I feel spring in my step. I feel spring in my heart. If 'action' has a chance- it is under this moon of renewal.
And that is the promise of this moon for each of us. Life begins...again. New. Rested. Fertile. Whether we can harness the moment for positive change depends on our mindset and our heart.
Under this Sap Moon, I pledge to at least tend the garden.
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