I've been cleaning closets of late...metaphorically and literally. My daughter left a mess on her way out to adulthood and I am covetous of her bedroom...specifically, her closet. Must be nice to own closets in two separate homes! Must be awesome to have storage space for clothes that haven't been worn, much less looked at in half a decade. I opened her auxiliary closet (the one in my home) a few months ago and quickly closed it.
Clothes were piled on the floor, two feet high. Clothes were still on hangers wall to wall, floor to ceiling. Clothes. Clothes that I quickly realized I had purchased with my husband's and my income. Clothes that she must have, fit her perfectly, she would perish if she did not get.
Storage space is not a luxury in this home of mine and I have been secretly planning my closet coup. I want it. I want it all. Every last cubic inch! The battle plan was drawn and my weapons chosen. I had planned and over planned; yet, in the end, the clothes did not offer any kind of defense. Oh, one pair of pants attempted a noble entanglement in a prom dress; but I subdued the hero and soon had imprisoned the entire lot in several large sturdy bags for the trip to the Island of Unwanted Clothes.
The closet isn't quite empty yet; there are remnants of her childhood lurking in a few boxes and one of her prom dresses argued quite eloquently for clemency. But I'm not done. Not by a long shot. I want that closet empty...if only for a day. All I had wanted at inception was to get some space to hang my version of my unwanted clothes. I happily dreamed that I could be the queen with two closets! How decadent!
Yet now, a new idea has emerged. I want the 128 cubic feet empty just so I can sit in it, be surrounded by nothing, close the door and be alone in the dark.
Yet now, a new idea has emerged. I want the 128 cubic feet empty just so I can sit in it, be surrounded by nothing, close the door and be alone in the dark.
And here, Anubis nods his head in approval as he finally sees the tie in. I want a tiny tomb for just a day. Just as a dress rehearsal...just to see what it feels like...just to know what waits for us in the dark.
I know it is an activity of a foolish, perhaps slightly bent, bored artist, but when the shoe or closet fits, you got to take action. I can even visualize the hieroglyphics I might draw in crayon; a curious puzzle for the next closet cleaner to find.
The New Moon is a lot like an empty closet. You can shove lots of crap into the moment, or you can choose to sit quietly in the dark, listening to your heart and wonder...
2 comments:
Love this. I was getting something out of the back of storage space under the stairs and was wishing the same thing. I small space to sit with nothing is so wonderful and rare.
I never quite got the space empty, but patio furniture arrived in a huge box and I have been thinking 'sarcophagus'. Just got to get the where with all to climb in and clear my mind.
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