I know a woman. She lives too much in her own head. She hears slights and condemnations where none exist. She feels maligned and misunderstood. She tries to speak, but her words fall short of her intentions. She tries to hear, but her ears only allow the negative to resonate. Her eyes could see the stars, but too often, she stares at the dull bare ground. She suffers.
She counts the misfortunes of her life as a testament to why she is the way she is. She defends her action. She defends her inaction. It isn't her, you see, it is the past that made her this way. It is what happened.
I tell her that although she cannot change what happened, she can change how she reacts to it. I tell her that she can manifest a new beginning where she is her best self. I implore her to look up at the stars.
Instead, she mires herself in jealousy; coveting what others have. She clings to what could be, what might be. She wants her moment. Her Disney Moment. Her pina colada and lei from Ricardo Montalban on Fantasy Island. The fifteen minutes of fame Andy Warhol insisted would be hers. Glory and Redemption. Her GLORY. Hers. Hers. Hers.
So, she spends her hours daydreaming about how it could be. How it might be. But action is so hard. So scary. Out of her reach...easier to not try. Safer to stay still.
I implore her to change; because frankly being around her is a bore. She forgets how fortunate she is. She complains and she whines...and so, she pushes me away. How can I love her? She is so pathetic.
But her redemption matters to me. And to my last dying breath I will be striving to change her, because this woman is me.
5 comments:
And she's so hard on herself! We all have lots to work on; it's great that you can acknowledge and share with us. Be gracious to yourself. At least as much as you would be to me.
Here is the funny part about this blog...I was thinking these things about someone else as I waited in line at Starbucks and then this perfectly gorgeous woman, walked by and gave me the 'stink eye' or so I surmised...and voila!! I could instantly see my folly for not recognizing my own chipped shoulder and wounds that keep me from being the person I can be. A better person. I share this because before I start assessing others, I best assess myself.
BTW- I would be gracious to you because you are perfect :D
Whilst a rabbit you may be, stillness will do nothing to save you here. Continue to recognize all the goodness within you and around you and leap for joy at the offerings the world provides and vice versa.
good advice from a wise Buddhist Fox
I thought this sounded more like someone else you know than like you, but I also know that we can see reflections of a lot of those traits in ourselves.
You would be gracious to me because you love me. I'm certainly no where near perfect.
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